Embrace Your Inner Genius and Navigate Decisions with Ease
Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash
Have You Ever Wondered How Some People Make Decision Making Look So Easy?
The toddler in the photo is me.
This person (me) was imaginative, creative, playful, sensitive and very loving.
In the effort to prepare me for life, I was convinced by my father and my teachers that creativity wouldn’t get me very far in life.
At the age of 8, I became a latchkey kid in New York City and had to take care of my kid brother.
Homework, dinner prep, and the weight of responsibility replaced my time for play.
Daily safety was paramount to me. I became serious, making decisions alone, hoping to do what was best for both of us.
It makes me wonder how this shows up for me as low key anxiety as an adult.
If I Were Born a Boy, Would I Have Been Called Strong Willed or Confident?
Since I was not, I was labeled ’stubborn’ or ‘aggressive’.
As I reflect on these earlier years, I understand that making decisions were vital to our daily survival aka keeping us safe while navigating the city streets.
While others might have followed the crowd, I learned to trust myself. If someone suggested something I didn’t want to do, I would simply walk away.
I had real life consequences to face that I wanted NO part of - my Daddy. So I would rather face the scrutiny of my peers than him.
Information Overload
Life as a child was straightforward. It had its complexities which is why I shared it here - to relate to your version.
Now sometimes I want to hand ‘adulthood’ back to whomever came up with this loaded concept.
Then couple this with the onslaught of information that is consumed on a daily basis coming straight to our ‘smart’ phones.
If there is any wobble in your resolve of self then watching any social media platform for more than 20 minutes can make you feel inadequate because everyone on there seems to know all the things.
Hopefully you understand that this imagery is a curated truth at best.
This is why time is needed to disconnect, to reflect, to assimilate, to act upon or to discard when engaging with this content. This becomes a whole workflow otherwise it becomes an addictive trap.
Why do I share this?
As you listen to the news and if you can tune into your self talk - everyone is caught up aka distracted in the comparison trap.
When and if this happens you are further and further away from making a decision that is clear from any murky waters.
Read: it is something that you desire without worrying about what anyone has to say about it or of being cancelled.
Shut the Door in Order to Hear Your Own Voice
I invite you to reflect on a time when you truly showed up for yourself. That spark of brilliance is still within you.
If you can’t relate or remember, then pretend. Utilize your mind to imagine a time when…
Tap into that genius of you and KNOW no matter what it looks like now, that (person) exists in you.
Here a few things to keep you on track with your decision making:
1. Channel Another Version of YourSelf: Picture that version of you standing before you. What wisdom would she share? Trust her instincts.
2. State your truth withOUT explanation (as long as it isn’t doing any harm to anyone including yourself), because no amount of words are going to get them to ‘get it’. People have their own personal agenda and there is no need to take it personally, so do whatever makes you happiest, peaceful, fill in the blank.
3. Yes, withOUT explanation or guilt: it is done, allow it to remain done. Stay present and feel good about your decision. You can always decide again. Turn away or turn off from people, places and things to don’t make you feel good. Usually most of this is resolved by turning off social media. The more insidious part is making sure the voice in the head is congruent and non violent to the host aka YOU. (This is literally a path to learning how to trust yourself.)
Embracing Your Intuition
Intuition is your inner compass, guiding you toward choices that resonate with your true self.
Pay attention to those subtle feelings - whether it's excitement or discomfort when you're faced with a decision.
For instance, if you're considering taking on a new project but feel a knot in your stomach, that could be your intuition signaling hesitation.
Conversely, if a new opportunity excites you, that's worth exploring!
As you get your ‘sea legs’ to learning your intuition - realize that excitement and anxiety on a superficial level feel similar. The key is to go slow and ask yourself questions for clarity.
No Wrong Moves
Remember, there are no wrong decisions in life - only experiences that inform future choices.
If you decide to pursue a job opportunity that doesn't turn out as expected, view it as an invaluable lesson rather than a failure.
Don’t believe me? Do a search on how many people are currently working in the major that they studied in college or trade school.
We pivot all the time only society calls these things failure.
Observe the lie in this and how we are taught to punish ourselves on some level no longer requiring outside assistance to carry out the punishment.
For example:
- Scenario 1: You take a class that you think will benefit your career but realize it's not what you expected. Instead of feeling defeated, assess what you learned about your interests and adjust your path accordingly.
- Scenario 2: You choose to spend time with friends instead of working on a project. If it feels like a mistake later on, recognize that connection is also essential for your well being. This experience can inform how you balance social life with responsibilities in the future.
Experimenting with Decisions
Start small by allowing yourself to make low stakes decisions based on your intuition.
Perhaps choose a restaurant based solely on which menu item sounds most appealing or pick an activity based on how it feels rather than obligation.
Each choice is a step toward building trust in yourself.
Affirmations and Mindset Shifts
Empower yourself with affirmations like:
- “I trust my intuition to guide me.”
- “Every choice I make leads me to valuable insights.”
- “I am open to learning from every experience.”
Ultimately, life is meant to be enjoyed.
Embrace simplicity and allow fun back into your life.
Trust that the little person who once knew how to play and make decisions still exists within you, ready to guide you toward a fulfilling journey.
Each decision is an opportunity - so follow your prompts and embrace the adventure ahead!
Fonda shares: 'When I was a massage therapist, I noticed the common thread of physical pain that people expressed. It inspired me to pull on the 'why' of pain: No matter what walk of life, the disconnect (pain) is basically the same.
People are fearful that the love (they are seeking in all areas of their lives), they aren't worthy of it.
The fact IS unless and until you accept yourself, to remember your worthiness and love yourself in plain sight - no one else's love can full you up. This is the Wholeness journey + the cycle of pain can cease.'
Fonda Clayton Smith is the founder of Wholeness Lab, a community based platform for those who are ready to own their sovereignty and embody their Sacred Wholeness.
She helps women recognize that splitting themselves into pieces and parts of themselves is disempowering and will always have them looking outside of the self for validation.
Fonda is a Certified Life Coach, Polarity Therapist, Licensed Massage Therapist, published author, podcaster and Mother of Personal Freedom.
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